another one of those days........ | imxherexbutxyouxdontxseexme's Blog

5/20
im just having another one of those days and need to rant a little bit. kinda seems like the worlds against me today. even my closest friends are turning thier backs on me now, and my enemies are just making my life miserable. but my family is making it horrible.

this morning i my grandmother woke me up at like 5. and i told her to just give me like five minutes and i would get up, well what does she do but turn the light on and turn my radio off. i get really really angry when i am woken up this way, but i just brushed it off, not fully realizing what time it was and just figured that i was running late or something. nope, i wasnt running late i was actually running extremely early. but i didnt get mad at her or nothing i just went on and did my usual morning routine. it was just turning 6 when i finished getting ready to go. so i went back to my room with every intention to listen to my radio and just doze a little bit, well what do you know but here comes grandma, she decided to clean my room, something she doesnt have the power to do quietly. and i asked her really nicely if she could go away. and she started yelling at me that i was being ungrateful, ok maybe i was, but i can clean my own room. so instead of arguing with her i just got up and left, and she follows me into the living room. so i decided to go sit outside and wiat for my mom to get home to take me to school. my grandma started yellin at me that i didnt need to me outside i coudl catch a cold.(?) but whatever, i went back inside still not willing to argue with her. i finally got her to leave me alone so i could go listen to my radio in peace and my brother came over making a ginormous mess. he spilled milk and cereal all over the kitchen table and then got mad cause he couldnt find a spoon. then my mom came home and she started yelling at him for getting mad cause he couldnt find a spoon,(i just went outside) and they got into a fight and they are never gentle when they fight. then my brother said that he wasnt going to work today. and my mom and me and my grandma (my grandma had to take my mom to the detist today) all finally got ready to go. and my grandma started crying(she suffers from depression which is why i didnt want to argue with her) and my mom got mad at her and started yelling at her and my grandma got mad and started yelling at my mom to stop yelling at her,(all the while the voices in my head where just telling everyone to shut up.j/k.) and they yelled at each other all the way to town and because we were like uuber early i had to wait around for like 15 minutes listening to them yell at each other. finally they got me to school.

then at school i was sitting in the library(the VP finally realized that the cafe will not hold the entire student body of the middle and high school all at once) so i was sitting in the library and one of my friends came up to me and gave me a note and left before i could read it,(i figured that he was just being a goon cause me and my friends do stupid stuff like this all the time) and then i read it it was pretty horrible: it had these lyrics(he like to talk in lyrics)

Noone knows how you feel

Noone there you'd like to see

The day was dark and full of pain

You write help with your own blood

'Cause hope is all you've got

You open up you eyes

But nothings changed



I don't want to cause you trouble

Don't wanna stay too long

I just came here to say to you



Turn around, I am here

If you want it's me you'll see

Doesn't count, far or near

I can hold you when you reach for me



Your life is meaningless

Your diary full of trash

It's so hard to get along with empty hands

You're looking for the rainbow

But it died not long ago

It tried to shine just for you

Until the end



I don't want to cause you trouble

Don't wanna stay too long

I just came here to say to you

I am by your side

Just for a little while



Turn around, I am here

If you want it's me you'll see

Doesn't count, far or near

I can hold you when you reach for me



If the world makes you confused

And your senses you seem to lose

If the storm doesn't want to diffuse

And you just don't know what to do

Look around, I am here

Doesn't count far or near



I am by your side

Just for a little while



Turn around

Turn around, I am here

Turn around

Doesn't count, far or near

Turn around

If you want it's me you'll see

Turn around

I can hold you when you reach for me

Turn around, I am here

Doesn't count, far or near



I am by your side

Just for a little while

We'll make it if we try

 

(the lyrics are Tokio Hotel) then at the bottom of this wonderful note he wrote i'll always be by yourside but (g/f's name here) doesnt want me to hang out with you anymore. i dont know why me and his girlfriend were friends before they started dating but now that they have started dating she started spreading all these rumours about me and acting like a total snoot.

then me and this chick almost got into a fight after school today, because me and one of my other friends where just hanging out, talking and she walks right in between us and told me to move(i was leaning on a pole, tell me how ima move) and when i asked her what her prolem was she turned around and swung at me, i woulda hit her back but the VP saw her do it so shes gonna be in some trouble now, specially since we only got like two weeks left in school.

when i got home today my mom told me(didnt ask TOLD) me to let her use my cell phone, i asked her why and she said that she had an important phone call to make, i asked to who, she said to one of her boy friends(yeah she has multiple boyfriends).

and that is how my life has been for like the last week or so, i just had to let it out.

5/21
i found out why that girl hit me yesterday, its cause apparently im friends with the wrong people(i dont even like the people that she accused me of being friends with) and that i royally screwed up her life when i started hanging out with them.. kinda dumb if you ask me and now this chick that basically loves my brother wants to beat this other girl up cause shes being mean to me(sometimes people dont think that i can take care of myself) my friend told me today that his girl friend hates me and that i need to stay away from him cause she thinks that im trying to steal him(me and him have been friends since 7th grade!). but yeah i just figured that i would tell everyone why everyone suddenly seems to hate me.