more teenage rants..... | imxherexbutxyouxdontxseexme's Blog

OK just as a general starting statement this one is prolly gonna jump around a bunch but i will keep it as organized as i can without losing what im about to put down(if that makes any sense).

First off, i don't know if this is weird or not but i really want a girlfriend, i mean i'm just kind of craving(i guess is the word) a female to hold me tight, and love me(or shoot at least lust after me.lol.)

and i have been going crazy lately, i think. like i dont know what to do lately, it always feels like stuff is waiting on me. and i kind of had a nervous breakdown the other day. and my mom started telling me that i was doing drugs and acting just like my brother and how i was ruining my life.

              isnt it just so great the way parents always tell you what you  are or are not doing. like my mom just tells me that im doing drugs, even tho' i know better than anyone else that i am most certainly not. and my mom should know that as she considers herself my best friend, she should know that i adamantly refuse drugs and alcohol.

am i so horrible that no one but those that must can love me? i mean everyone has been totally blowing me off lately. and i mean i know that i have been talking less than usual (which isnt much to begin with) but is that really reason enough to totally ignore me when i do speak. or have i just completley lost my mind already, am i possibly just making this seem more dramatic than it is. and now it almost would seem that when i make a statement someone is always standing there to correct me... i mean, we just got anew spanish teacher not to long ago, and she was passing out papers and when she gave me mine back she had put a y and the end of my name and scribbled out the i.... i mean really i do believe that i am old enough to spell my own name.

the other day my brother got mad at me because i am according to him trianing my dog wrong. just because it wouldnt come to him when he wistled(i have trained him to come to me when i snap). and when he didnt come my brother got mad and threw a temper tantrum, that was totally uncalled for.

then my mom had the gall to tell me that i needed to get a job, because all i was doing was wasting gas money going back and forth to school everyday and not contributing anything. ugh! that nerve.

oh and one of my "best friends" had the guts to tell me the other day that she can see me ending up in a mental institute one day.... i mean i know that i have some prolems but dang what gives? is that really something that 'friends' tell each other, cause i guessed i missed that memo.

and have you ever realized how diirty pop songs from the 90's are, i mean really i found an Aaron Carter cd the other day and golly gee, is the stuff he says even legal for young children to listen to?!.lol.. its kinda crazy.